SO STRESS CAN BE SEXY

I was undecided whether or not to write a post when I was stressed and that it self caused me more stress... so I left it

 What you’re getting now is a slightly more upbeat blog post then you would have gotten 2 or 3 days ago. The blog post of me 2 days ago would have probably consisted of less verve than a cats toenail.

So Stew what was Stressing you out?

..Amongst other things, £75 worth of pornography charges were ,and still are, stressing me out. This is probably going to be one of those things where, the more I plead innocent the more I sound definitely 100% guilty but...

I DID NOT VIEW ANY SUCH CONTENT ON MY PHONE!!!!!!

I’m not saying that I’ve never viewed such material, because I’ve been watching shameless naked women ever since we upgraded from AOL to BT and the parental controls had been forgotten to be put on my account SCORE.

I learned more about the world in that one day then I could have previously ever have imagined. What I learned about that day was the world can be a pretty damn funky, sexy place full of sexy, (if not all be it aggressive and sweaty) funky people.

But it wasn’t all good times, I remember when I was about 13, a pop up appeared on screen at a friends house and my friends were out the room. So I clicked it, “FREE NAKED BABES!”, why the hell not click it!? This Subsequently brought up a good 20 other pages of filth. So as I’m frantically closing down these pop ups, my friends walk in the room...

 What pop up out of them all do I have on the screen at that time? BIGCOCKS.COM.

Going back to the whole the more I sound innocent the more I sound guilty...

But I swear that’s exactly how it happened! HONEST HONEST HONEST. Anyway when we went back to school these so called “friends” started telling people that I actively look at bigcocks.com until I publicly started crying.

So It’s not always been great my relationship with PORN (finally said it) but what I want to show here is that this relationship has been developing for a while, and like every male I have a website where I can go to get "some" anytime I like OH YES ;). I have grown so familiar with this website that I actively look down at anyone who chooses a different, and in my eyes lesser, website. 

So by now your probably wondering why would someone with my experience and knowledge spend £75 on “naked pics” ,let me add, in one night...  EXACTLY. IT'S. IMPOSSIBLE!

Anyway what the final consequence of all this is that I now have to call up O2 and plead my innocence.

“Hell O2? Hi, yeah I’ve been charged 75 pounds for pictures of vaginas, when I’ve not actually viewed said vaginas.”...

WISH ME LUCK...

 Also I probably should just get a girlfriend...

CUT YOUR HAIR, YOU HIPPY...

I'm not going to turn on myself. I was going to write a blog on how I have the life commitments of a 3 year old but I get reminded of this constantly so the last thing i need is to start having a go at myself.

Though i do accept I need a job, and if you have any opinions on the matter, leave them in the comment box and presumably if this thing is anything like Youtube, your comment will soon turn into a mass debate about how you are definitely either racist or sexist or maybe both... personally I prefer being the latter God damn those no good Female Mexicans.

FYI this is a female Mexican.

I am now 20 (and no this isn't going to be a paragraph of self pitty.). I definitely don't act like it. My my most consistently watched tv programme is Deadly 60. I still get excited by exceedingly shiny coins. I still have some belief that one day I'll headline at Barrowlands and the majority of my social time is spent getting drunk. Theres nothing wrong with that. I was recently reminded of my age by someone a few years younger than me and they highlighted my immaturity then they got back to reading the guardian. Which made me kind of self assess. I came to the conclusion of...



I HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO BECOME A BORING CUNT.

I want to act immature and watch programmes on channel 4 to catch a glimpse of partial nudity (excluding one born every minute). I want to get shit faced not know what I'm doing and creep out girls in clubs because I'm to wasted to know whats "just looking over" and what staring. Then I want to tell that girl  that she's look just like shakira and stumble off. I want to wake up at midday and not move until doctors comes on. I WANT STEVE BACKSHALL TO TELL ME HOW DEADLY A MUSK OX IS.

If I was still doing that when i was 30 or even late 20's then theres a problem I would have considerably failed at life and it would be an understatement at that. I have all the time in the world when I'm older to have responsibility I might aswell enjoy getting away with having little responsibilities for as long as i can.


If you want to be young and mature knock yourself out, just don't be go all mexican woman about me deciding that I'm not actually ready to care about what time debhenhams opens on a wednesday or what paper i should read or the fact I don't vote.


I have the life commitments of a 3 year old and I'll enjoy without question while i'll can. One day I'll have a morgage and a son who will probably surpass me and a family to provide for. But not right right now. So kindly let me act like a dickhead.

YOU HAVE JUST WITNESSED A POSITIVE BLOG POST.MUCH LOVE.